


a flower to let go of.

by wannabeyourstar



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Gardener MJ, How Do I Tag, Jealousy, Jinwoo and Sanha don’t appear sadly, M/M, One-Sided Love, Unrequited Love, first fic in a while aha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:15:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27632620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wannabeyourstar/pseuds/wannabeyourstar
Summary: myungjun had started a garden.if people asked why, he would always say it was because he liked the smell of flowers and the visuals of it all.if he asked himself, he would try to ignore the fact it was all for dongmin.
Relationships: Kim Myungjun | MJ/Lee Dongmin | Cha Eunwoo, Kim Myungjun | MJ/Park Minhyuk | Rocky, Lee Dongmin | Cha Eunwoo/Moon Bin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 23





	a flower to let go of.

**Author's Note:**

> hey, i haven’t written a fan fiction in absolute ages so this might not be too great, LMAO   
> i recently got into Astro fandom and it took me a while to actually decide to write something   
> it’s just a simple one shot, but maybe there’ll be more eventually :)

Myungjun had started a garden. 

Flowers of many colors bloomed underneath gentle rays of sunlight, the aroma of sweetness drifting through the air. The idol had decided it would be a good idea, and he wanted to fill his time up, plus he did enjoy the overall look of the plants. Myungjun liked to believe his overall style fit along with the whole gardener vibe. His hair was a wavy blonde with darker roots growing out. It was messy, but not to the point where it was shaggy. His shorter stature and general personality gave him a more innocent feel, or so he was told. Growing plants only was another talent that he could add to the list. Sure, it likely wasn’t the best idea, granted his schedule was busy with his recent activities, but it was relaxing to brush the sorrows of the day away by drizzling water over his thriving colorful delights. There was also the argument that he could just do art in his free time. After all, he is a great artist! However, he didn’t find it nearly as exhilarating as caring for a living, breathing organism. 

Granted, that organism didn’t do much, but he still liked it. 

But there was one more reason he dedicated his time to it all. 

“Hyung, your flowers are looking better than they were last week.” A voice behind him said, a unique brightness seeming to lace their words. 

Myungjun turned around, his heart beginning to speed up slightly at the sight of the other. “Well, yeah! I worked hard on these, you know?” He joked, quick to nudge at the male’s arm. Despite his playful, casual demeanor, he couldn’t ignore the nervous shivers tapping at his skin. 

Cha Eunwoo. 

Or, to Myungjun, Lee Dongmin. 

Lee Dongmin, the man he’s sure he loves. 

A lighthearted laugh filled the air, Dongmin’s eyes seeming to shape into crescent moons as a smile pulled at his features. Myungjun’s eyes didn’t tear away from the taller one, his lips pursing into a tight line. His groupmate was, as much as Dongmin denied it himself, an angel. No matter how hard he tried, Myungjun could never find a single flaw. Whether it came from Eunwoo’s perfect skin, his porcelain features, the gentle color of his beautiful eyes, the way his lips curved gorgeously, or anything else, the short vocalist could never see him as anything short of perfect. Butterflies fluttered wildly in his stomach, his fingers wrapping delicately around the handle of the watering can. He felt like he had to hold his breath because if he were to take a breath in, he would faint. 

With an almost timid expression, Dongmin outstretched his hand slightly, his head tilting to the side. “Can I look at them?” He asked, his honey voice making Myungjun swallow hard. His eyes drifted to his flowers, unsure if they were even ready for someone like Dongmin to admire yet. If anything, the flowers should be admiring Dongmin and all of his amazing perfections. Myungjun nodded his head, a cocky smirk flashing on his face. “Unless you’re going to hear the flowers, you’re free to look at them.” He hummed happily, taking a step back to let the taller ravenette observe his work more closely. 

As Dongmin focused his attention on the flowers, Myungjun was intent on adoring him. He knew how much the angelic male loved these kinds of things. After all, the night he learned so much about him was the one where he had fallen in love with him. The memory was still fresh in his mind, a clear movie that played out every time he closed his eyes. 

——

The two had been sitting together after practice. The others had left, but they stayed behind, both exhausted to the point of being collapsed on the floor. Heavy breaths heaved from their chests, filling the silence in the air. They had been talking about nothing, yet at the same time, it had just felt like everything. The conversation topic never seemed to stick for too long, constantly shifting from one thing to another. However, the tone that came was relatively startling. 

“Myungjun.” Dongmin had said, catching his attention. His curiosity peaked slightly, and he replied with a simple, “What?” There was a hesitance that hung above them, only voided when the soothing voice that comforted Myungjun so much began to speak again. “If you didn’t become an idol, where would you be right now?” The question itself seemed to come out of absolutely nowhere, but he entertained an answer. Though, as he tried to think of an answer, his mind drew a blank. He shrugged his shoulders absentmindedly, the wooden floor solid against his back. 

“I don’t know,” Myungjun answered, a bit disappointed in his reply. “Maybe I’d be somewhere as a famous artist. Or an architect. Whichever one offered me more money.” He added, a grin appearing at his joke. Dongmin gave a soft chuckle with it, and for some strange reason, Myungjun felt his heart skip a beat. If laughs had a feeling, he was sure Dongmin’s laugh would feel like a pure wool blanket, meant to warm someone up during a cool autumn day. A light heat rose to his cheeks as he closed his eyes, trying to think of other things to bring the blush down. “What about you?” He questioned, his eyes peeking open slightly. 

Dongmin’s face shifted with thought, his eyes seeming to be glued onto the ceiling. A comfortable silence fell over them, finally disappearing when he quietly said, “I would be looking at flowers.” 

Myungjun was puzzled at this. “Looking at flowers?” He repeated, an eyebrow raised slightly as he turned his head to face the other. He scanned his face for any sign of a joking expression but found nothing. “I thought you would be a super famous athlete or something like that.” He laughed, kicking his legs up momentarily before letting them crash back down. “I didn’t peg you for a flower guy, y’know?” Myungjun added, a cheeky, almost teasing glint in his eyes. 

Another laugh came out of Dongmin, except it sounded a hint more half-hearted. He didn’t catch it right away, but Myungjun heard the slight hurt in the other’s underlying tone, allowing a bit of guilt to sleep in. “I find them comforting, in a way. They all have their special meanings, and they convey things without having to say words.” He explained, a smidge of passion edging his words. “I never cared much for the look of it all.” 

Such simple words were enough to make Myungjun’s lips part in minor surprise. Not only was “Cha Eunwoo” a wonderful face to gaze at, but he also had the most beautiful personality. He never was one to judge by appearance, and Myungjun could never do anything else but admire him for it. 

But was that admiration finally beginning to spiral into something else? 

In his stomach, he could feel a strange flapping of wings. 

A single butterfly, flying free after a spark of something had appeared. 

——

The plain action of just looking at plants was enough to make Myungjun swoon over Dongmin. As much as he hated to admit it, he felt like one of the idol’s many fangirls, and he couldn’t help but feel embarrassed every time he felt his breath bitch in his throat from the mere sight of Dongmin. He would not-so-subtly take selfies with him, often slugging his arm around the taller one’s shoulder and grinning widely into the camera, claiming his pink cheeks were from the lighting from the room or the makeup. And, being the kind soul he was, Dongmin would never pry about it. That was another endearing thing about him. He was so trusting. Of course, that could be regarded as being naive, but to Myungjun, it was just another thing to love. Daydreams about romantic dates weren’t uncommon with Myungjun, but the most prominent one was a simple flower date, Dongmin offering a single red rose with a loving smile made only for him and him alone. 

He wanted to be selfish. He wanted so badly to just intertwine his fingers with Dongmin and take all of his attention. He wanted to sing with him and make little inside jokes that no one else would understand. Though, he knew he couldn’t do that. No matter how kind Dongmin was, he was still distant. His tender expressions always held a coolness that Myungjun knew he couldn’t warm. Not with the way they were now. 

Simply two close friends.

Yet, Myungjun hoped. Every day, hope would bubble within him. Every single time he heard his name being called from Dongmin’s lips, something in the back of his head pleaded for it to be the start of a confession, though it was just hopeless wishing. 

“Dongmin, what are you doing here?” Another familiar voice cooed, one that Myungjun had dreaded to hear. At the call, Dongmin had pulled away from the flowers, his eyes seeming to glimmer at the sight of Moonbin. 

Moonbin. 

If someone were to ask him who he thought was worthy of Dongmin, it would be Moonbin. Obviously, he didn’t want to admit this, not in the slightest, but every time he thought about it, he would come to the same conclusion. 

Moonbin wasn’t angelic, but god, he was close to it. His hair seemed to look good with any style or color given to him. His coal colored eyes were dark, yet held a flickering warmth that shimmered like a starry night sky. His body was built well, with defined muscles that outlined the hard work he had put in over the years. His thoughtful expression resembled a cat, so still, yet so elegant. And his smile. 

His godforsaken smile. 

No one could resist it. It was radiant, almost on par with the sun itself. His happiness was contagious, and his charms didn’t help at all. With Moonbin, you either envied or loved him. Maybe there was a mix of both. On most days, Myungjun couldn’t decide whether he despised or adored the man. Jealousy ached at his bones every time he saw Moonbin, and he always resented that part of himself. And as much as he hated to come to terms with it, he knew Dongmin was no exception to the “love or envy” rule. 

And he knew Dongmin loved Moonbin. 

They were perfect for each other. 

Dongmin’s calm, relaxing personality meshed with Moonbin’s fun, outgoing one. They rarely clashed, and when they did, it was always brief and quickly resolved with a private meal between the two. Usually, the day after, it went mostly ignored, but Myungjun always noticed that the two would enter the practice room together, their hair messily done with wrinkly shirts. And every time, Myungjun would swallow down his emotions, all the way to his stomach, and grin, teasing them for being late. Then they’d practice their choreography and call it a day, typically ending up with them eating a short meal together. 

“MJ-Hyung was showing me the process of his flowers.” Eunwoo explained, the words feeling sharper than they actually were. “He wasn’t here to see you. Just your dumb flowers.” The realization stung, nipping at his pale skin as he felt his heart sink. 

“That’s cool.” Moonbin chirped, his tone genuine. Myungjun hated the honest interest that could be pulled apart from his words, and he hated the appreciation that he was beginning to feel. He should do what he could to pull the two apart. Wasn’t that the better thing to do? Make sure the guy he liked ended up with him instead of that other practically perfect guy?

The thought made the guilt worsen. 

“Mind if I drag him away?” Moonbin ended up asking, placing his hand on Dongmin’s shoulder in a way that made Myungjun’s chest ache with jealousy. Despite his typical airheaded demeanor, he could notice the tiny details when it came to his group members. He could see the pure admiration in Bin’s eyes every time he looked at Dongmin, and he knew that Moonbin was in love with him. After all, how could he not know? It was the exact look that he had every time he looked at the very same person, except the difference was that Dongmin would stare back at Bin, with the tenderness Myungjun could only dream of seeing for himself. 

It took him a few moments to respond, but he gave a slow nod of his head, letting a smile outstretch on his face as he threw a joking punch at Bin’s arm. “What am I, his dad? Do what you want with him.” The words came out exactly as he hoped they would. Light, friendly, with not a single drop of bitterness. Yet, a part of him wished Dongmin would notice that he wasn’t actually okay with any of it. He wanted him to tell Moonbin he was going to stay behind instead, even if it was just to look at the flowers longer. Though, it never seemed to go Myungjun’s way. With the confirmation he was allowed to take Dongmin, Moonbin took him by the wrist and dragged him off, leaving Myungjun to stand there alone, the air feeling heavy enough to crush him. 

His eyes surveyed the potted plants, the vibrant colors appearing duller than they actually were. A sigh escaped from his lips as he leaned himself against the wall, his limbs lazily dangling beside him. He could hear hushed voices from outside of the room, slowly growing quieter as the two other men walked further away, only reminding Myungjun of how far he actually was from Dongmin. He allowed his fingers to rise slightly, his fingertips brushing against the leaf on one of the stems. “This is so stupid.” He muttered underneath his breath, eyebrows furrowing downwards slightly. “I shouldn’t be hungover some pretty guy who doesn’t like me back.” Myungjun told himself, lightly tapping himself on the cheek to replicate a slap. Of course, that didn’t do anything. His thoughts were quickly interrupted as he heard someone clearing their throat from behind him, causing him to visibly flinch and turn around, startled. 

“Rocky, what are you doing?” Myungjun whined, earning a somewhat annoyed grunt from the dancer. He sensed the tone coming from him, so he smiled awkwardly. “Minhyuk.” He said, correcting himself. The darker haired male was quick to relax after hearing that, his shaded eyes seeming to show a more pleasant shimmer in them. 

“I noticed those two left,” Minhyuk responded plainly, his head briefly nodding over to the direction of the doorway. Myungjun tried to bite back the sour expression that was on his face, though he knew the rapper well enough to know he noticed. It was obvious, considering the fact Minhyuk wasn’t afraid to show his concern clearly on his face. “Do you want me to go?” He asked, taking a slight step backward. Myungjun’s eyes were quick to widen as he shook his head, reaching out and wrapping his fingers around Minhyuk’s wrist. 

“No, not at all! Stay, or else I’ll be forced to talk to these flowers.” The plea was enough to make the other chuckle, obliging and standing beside him. For a few moments, there was a long, almost uncomfortable silence. Neither of them had anything to say, so they quietly watched the unmoving flowers, as if they would suddenly move and cause a scene. 

“You asked me to stay, but you don’t have anything to talk about.” Minhyuk sighed, his hand rubbing at the back of his neck. Myungjun shot him a grin, smacking the younger one on the back. 

“You start a conversation then!” The blonde insisted, continuing to push at the other while pestering for him to talk. Minhyuk gave an unamused stare before thoughtfully thinking. 

And just like that, Myungjun’s mind was temporarily distracted, the thought of his angelic Dongmin being with the puppy-like Moonbin not bothering him. Yeah, he would stress about it later, but he enjoyed his time with one of his closest friends. The sinking feeling in his chest lightening ever so slightly. 

Myungjun was an observant person, yet, for some strange reason, he never seemed to catch the look that Minhyuk would give to him every time they were in the same room. It was a mystery since it wasn’t something Myungjun was ignorant of. 

After all, he always gives the very same look to Dongmin.


End file.
